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New Office Policy

EFFECTIVE  Today

Dress  Code:
1) You are advised to come to work  dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see  you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we  will assume you are doing well financially and  therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress  poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better,  so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you  do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just  right, you are right where you need to be and  therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick  Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement  as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the  doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal  Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days  a year.  They are called Saturdays &  Sundays. 

Bereavement Leave:
This is  no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can  do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every  effort should be made to have non-employees attend the  funeral arrangements in your place.  In rare  cases where employee involvement is necessary, the  funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon.   We will be glad to allow you to work through  your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour  early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much  time is being spent in the toilet.  There is now  a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls.   At the end of three minutes, an alarm will  sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall  door will open, and a picture will be taken. After  your second offense, your picture will be posted on  the company bulletin board under the ‘Chronic  Offenders’ category. Anyone caught smiling in the  picture will be sectioned under the company’s mental  health policy.

Lunch Break: (Love this  one)
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch,  as they need to eat more, so that they can look  healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes  for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their  average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes  for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink  a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to  our company. We are here to provide a positive  employment experience. Therefore, all questions,  comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations,  irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,  accusations, contemplations, consternation and input  should be directed elsewhere.

The  Management

Know what this means?

Just take a look at this photo, tell me what it means to you.

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Boredom Explained

boredom

What is being bored?

Well, according to the online dictionary available here, boredom is defined as :

dullness, tedious repetition, unwelcome attentions, etc.

Dullness is a state of mental weakening when monotony gives way to extreme monotony.

Tedious repetition is the brother of extreme monotony

Unwelcome Attentions is receiving something which you are prejudiced to not want.

All in all, boredom is a result of repetitive unwanted things, when we have no other alternative occupation. I was bored today, and I thought about it. If I had my IPod with me, I would have not been bored. It holds true for many cases. Often, boredom reminds us of something else which we could have done. So, the absence of alternative occupation (obviously more lucrative) has a major part to play.

How to fight boredom?

Well, the best way is to find an alternative occupation. It is not easy though, because if it was, you wouldn’t have been bored in the first place. So, the second alternative – and recommended by me – is to of course find something to do, but not to look at the prima-lucrative options (in my case the iPod). Thinking about them would make you more sad than you already are. The focus should be to look for something which you are not normally comfortable doing, but in the current scenario, would be a better alternative. ( I wrote this when I was bored).

So go ahead and enjoy being bored.

Mumbai Meri JaanQuestion : What do you get when you mix Kay Kay Menon, Irrfan Khan, Paresh Rawal, R Madhavan, Soha Ali Khan, with a host of talented actors in a movie which sends out a message?

Answer : You ensure that the message gets sent the right way. The biggest kudos I would like to give the director would be for his casting. Its immaculate, and needed too.

This movie is based on the July 11, 2007 multiple train blasts in Mumbai. It is not about the blasts, but about the effect the blasts had on the psyche of the ordinary to the not so ordinary Mumbai resident. It then goes on to portray the sheer universality of the concept of fear. A beautiful movie, to say the least. Please go and watch it if you still haven’t. It is not just for the people of Mumbai, it would touch you wherever you are, and whatever you do. Three cheers to director Nishikant Kamat. It gets a 3.5 out of 5 from my side.

 

Photo : India Target

Seasons come and seasons go, reasons come and reasons stay.Some people change and some people don’t. Some people do both. Welcome to the world of neo-thinkers. It’s all about optimising optimism and having a good time, keeping in mind the productivity of the good times, in order to have better times in the future.